Seven rules slot players need to live by
By Frank Scoblete
There are 10-best-things-to-do lists for just about everything from chocolate puddings to adult diapers. Now don’t our slot players deserve such an important to-do list considering without slot players there would be little or no casino explosion or expansion on our planet? Certainly. So without further ado, here are my Super 7 Slot Principles:
#1: Create a 401G Account
Slot players should never play with real money – that is, money they also use for important things such as food, clothes, housing, children and heart surgeries. Real money is too important and should only be used for real life.
Instead, all slot players should create a 401G bank/checking account (the “G” stands for gambling) where they regularly deposit small funds that will grow to decent funds over time. These are the funds with which to play those one-armed bandits. (Does anyone call slot machines onearmed bandits anymore?)
Having a bank account for gambling money assures you that win, lose or draw little Lulu will get her braces and you’ll have enough money to bail out Big Larry.
#2: The Envelope Please
One of the worst things that can happen to a slot player (or any casino player) is to come to the casino with money and go home without money. In short, busting your own bank is so depressing and I am sure some of you have had this tragic fate in the past (or maybe yesterday).
I like the envelope money management method for slot players. This is not a method created by me but by another gambling writer way in the past. I can’t remember who did it but a big thank you to this person anyway.
If you are going to a casino for a day of fun and want to play, say, three sessions, divide your money up in thirds. If you have $1500 then each session will see you play with $500.
Now, be a quarter player who bets no more than three coins per spin (I prefer one coin which I have written about in the past) – do not play machines where you are tempted to really go for broke with multiple lines—such machines which can actually cause you to go broke at times somewhat quickly.
Now once you have played through your entire $500, meaning whatever remains or if luck is with you, place your $500 plus a win in your envelope, and the session is over. In short, you are going through your first envelope just once. The remaining money, win, lose or draw, goes into the envelope not to be played with again.
With three coins and $500 you can play the devil’s game, meaning you have 666 decisions. I think that would be enough to give you a great session in terms of time; just don’t play more than seven decisions a minute.
Please keep in mind that you are only going to play that $500 once through the machine. You keep your wins and never play them.
If you play the envelope method you will rarely bust out – in fact, I have never heard of anyone busting out using this method. And another thank you to the gaming writer who came up with this idea.
#3: Trend Betting
Trend betting will not give you an edge at any random game such as slots. It will not reduce the house edge on the slot machines. It will not do anything other than being (maybe) a fun way to play. If you hit a trend that made you money, rejoice, stay at that machine until the trend ends (which it certainly will). You were there at the right time, a time you couldn’t predict in advance.
#4: Feel Free to Leave a Machine
If you have been hammered for a while at a machine—meaning the trends have gone against you—you are allowed to take a break to regain your composure. While doing such does not in the least change the house edge from the miserable machine that hammered you.
#5: Don’t Chase a Loss
You’ve had a bad session. You are feeling bad about the bad session. Now you make a bad decision and try to win your money back by playing more than one time through your $500. Bad, bad, bad. Never do that ever. You might make a comeback but you also might go into the tank big time.
#6: Do Not Moan About Losses
People who don’t know you usually don’t care if you won or lost. They just pretend they do. Do not burden them with how awful everything has gone. (“Oh me, oh my, I got my butt kicked today.”) If someone politely asks you “how are things going?” just answer them with “Oh, I’m having a good time,” even if you are crying like a baby inside.
#7: Do Not Brag About Wins
You just destroyed the casino. You are happy as can be. Don’t get into the elevator and tell everyone how you are so lucky and how much money you won. Just be content that you are ahead. People don’t care about your wins just as they don’t care about your losses.
Okay, those are the Super 7 and following them will help you keep your slot play in check and most certainly (I hope) allow you to come to the casino with money and go home (at worst) with some of that money.
Frank Scoblete’s newest books are I Am a Dice Controller: Inside the World of Advantage-Play Craps!, I Am a Card Counter: Inside the World of Advantage-Play Blackjack! and Confessions of a Wayward Catholic. Frank’s books are available on Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes and Noble, and at bookstores.