THE GOLDEN RULE OF THE BLACKJACK TABLE
The cards don’t always fall your way, but that’s no excuse for bad behavior
By Al O’Grady
As much as we would like to think we have come a long way toward equality between the sexes, sexism remains prevalent in society. One place where it continues to rear its ugly head is at the blackjack table. This has nothing to do with political correctness. It has everything to do with common decency and treating people the way they deserve to be treated.
Many of my coworkers are women, and the stories they have shared with me are unbelievable, largely because I have never experienced the same treatment myself. Unfortunately for them, this behavior is a daily occurrence. Their options for responding are often limited, so I am speaking out on their behalf.
For some reason, when people put their money on the table, they seem to believe they are entitled to certain privileges. To a point, they are right. They are entitled to professional service, to be treated as valued customers, and, most importantly, to be treated with respect. But respect works both ways. Players do not have the right to belittle dealers, use offensive language directed at them, or make sexually explicit comments intended to demean or humiliate them.
So why do some players behave this way? I mentioned entitlement, but I believe it goes beyond that. I think it comes down to power. Perhaps they lack a sense of control in other areas of their lives and try to make up for it at the blackjack table. But that is not power. It is bullying, and bullies are often cowards at heart.
I have heard female coworkers tell me about players who gave them a hard time but were as nice as could be when dealing with me. Why the difference? Perhaps it is because I am a 6-foot-3-inch man with an athletic build. They cannot intimidate me as easily, so their perceived power disappears.
In the seven years I have been doing this, only one player has made things personal with me. I confronted him immediately, and he backed down. Unfortunately, my female coworkers cannot always say the same. Many feel they have little choice but to report unacceptable behavior to a supervisor. By that point, however, the damage has already been done.
I am not suggesting that everyone needs to behave like Mother Teresa at the tables. Casinos are part of the entertainment industry. People are there to have a good time and, hopefully, win some money along the way. The language can get a little colorful from time to time. You might be losing money, your emotions may get the better of you, and frustration might cause you to blurt out a few expletives. But ask yourself: Are you swearing at the dealer, or are you swearing at the situation? There is a difference.
Most dealers have thick skin when it comes to players venting their frustration at a bad hand or an unlucky streak. But there is a line you should never cross. When that foul language is directed at the dealer personally, it becomes disrespectful and unacceptable.
And the language does not have to include four-letter words to be demeaning. Terms like “sweetie,” “sweetheart” and “dearie” can be just as condescending. Would you use those words when speaking to a woman in your workplace? If you work in sales or customer service, would you address a customer that way? Probably not. So why do it at the blackjack table?
Here is a simple way to make sure you are not crossing the line: Imagine the dealer is your mother, wife, sister or daughter. How would you speak to her? I guarantee you would think twice before swearing at her or calling her “sweetheart” or “dearie.” It is an extension of the Golden Rule. Rather than simply treating others the way you want to be treated, treat them the way you would want others to treat the women in your life.
If you are a player and witness another player behaving badly, you can do something about it.
I saw a perfect example of this in Las Vegas, and it worked like a charm. A player was berating a dealer for making an honest mistake. She was an experienced, competent dealer who had simply made a rare error. It happens. We are all human, and mistakes are inevitable. The issue could have been resolved, and play could have continued, but the player refused to let it go. He continued verbally abusing the dealer and eventually called her a “stupid woman.”
My jaw dropped. I was stunned by his ignorance. Looking back, I wish I had spoken up immediately, but at the time, I was simply taken aback by his behavior.
Fortunately, the other players at the table were just as disgusted. Everyone voiced their disapproval, and one player came up with a brilliant idea. He demanded that the man apologize to the dealer, saying he would refuse to play until the apology was made. I immediately agreed, and one by one, the other players joined the boycott.
When it comes to casino operations, keeping the games moving and the revenue flowing is a priority. The surveillance team could see a full table, yet only one player was actively playing. That unusual situation caught the attention of the pit boss, who came over to find out why. We told him that the offending player could explain.
Embarrassed by the situation, the man eventually slithered away from the table. Hopefully, he learned something about the consequences of treating people disrespectfully.
Casinos are in the entertainment business. They want you to have a good time, enjoy the experience, and maybe even have Lady Luck smile on you. But having fun should never come at someone else’s expense.
So, by all means, let out an expletive when the cards go against you.
Just make sure your frustration is directed at the situation, not the dealer. Joke around and have fun with the people dealing your game, but never demean them. If you are unsure where the line is, remember the Golden Rule.
My female coworkers will appreciate it, and so will the dealers who work hard to make your casino experience enjoyable.
Good luck at the tables, and don’t forget to tip your dealer!
Al O’Grady has been a blackjack dealer for over seven years. He is a freelance writer with an economics degree and is currently pursuing a degree in mathematics.
